As my husband and I approach our 10th anniversary, I've been thinking a lot about our journey together. Looking back at the early years of our marriage, life seemed so carefree! We both were excited about new careers, we both had plenty of time to spend with each other, and we were enjoying our first home as a couple.
One thing I remember about our first little house was that it had the most beautiful fireplace…one that brought such beauty and warmth to our home.
But have you ever thought about why a fireplace evokes those kinds of feelings? It's not really about the fireplace itself, because in reality, a fireplace is just a nicely decorated hole in the wall! I think it's the fire that really brings warmth and beauty to a room.
Perhaps today, you'd admit that the fire in your marriage is dying. If so, let me offer you four ways to reignite that spark…and help you have the kind of marriage you've always wanted.
1. Strike a match.
Just as every fire begins with a small spark that turns into a flame, every marriage begins with a romantic love that ignites the relationship.
Sometimes, however, as a marriage goes through different seasons and endures the stresses of everyday life, you can begin to forget the reasons you fell in love.
To help the feelings of love re-surface, it's important to take time to talk about your memories together…how you met, the fun places you've gone, and the special moments you have shared.
In addition to sharing memories, it's also important to make new memories. And one the best ways Jason and I have found to do this is to have a consistent date night. I would encourage you to always date your spouse! It can be the spark you and your mate need to revitalize your relationship.
2. Fan the flame.
Just as a fire needs oxygen to continue burning, our marriages need constant attention. A small spark without oxygen will eventually extinguish. And unfortunately, many marriages are without oxygen…the day-to-day care necessary to sustain the flame.
We need to fan the flame of our relationship, and give it the time and energy it deserves. And where this counts the most is in the every-day, seemingly mundane things. How we think about, communicate with, and treat our husbands supplies or deprives our marriage of the oxygen it needs.
You know, I've noticed that if I focus my thoughts on how Jason left his socks on the floor again or how he didn't take out the trash, I begin to speak negatively to him and treat him disrespectfully. However, if I reflect on how hard he works, how he helped me cook dinner, or what a wonderful father he is to our son, my thoughts become loving, my words kind, and my actions warm.
Proverbs 23:7 tells us that what we think in our hearts will determine how we act. In the same way, our thoughts and attitudes about our husbands will ultimately dictate how we treat them, and in turn how they treat us. Marriage is the most important human relationship we have. And its livelihood is dependent on the "oxygen" we give it!
3. Make sure you have logs that last.
Logs are the base of a fire, without which a fire quickly extinguishes. But with solid wood, the fire burns for a very long time.
The logs of marriage are the commitment on which we base our relationship. A marriage…like a fire…can last a very long time if it is based on a solid commitment. If the commitment is strong, a fire can be revived…even in the worst of times!
4. Enjoy the warmth and share the light.
Once a fire is in full glow, it brings warmth and light to a room. And a marriage of love, friendship, and most importantly, commitment, brings warmth and light to our lives.
Not only can our marriage be a blessing to us, but it can also be a light that warms our family and everyone around us. The light and warmth of marriage is the security our children need…and the picture of Christ's perfect love!
